The “His” in this case isn’t The Prince, but The King, My Father.
I told them. I went to my parents and I told them. After the inital shock and usual questions, my father went into his logical, protective but caring mode. He loves me and I will always be his little girl so he wants to help me to be happy. I know this, I understand this and I accept his help without thinking, like an instinct I was born with and can’t change. He will pay for the lawyer, help me pay for a better apartment than I can afford on my own, help me move to and furnish said apartment. I tell myself now I will pay him back when the divorce is finalized and the dust settles. I tell myself over and over this is just a loan. This is not a sign of weakness, just a sign that money is tight for me. So why do I feel so bad about taking his help? Why do I feel like I’m a child again? Why am I afraid to let The Prince know that my father is doing all of this for me? I know that answer I don’t need to hear it from him. The use of “Princess” like a dirty word and reminders that I have this option while he doesn’t.
So here I am feeling guilty for my parents’ relative wealth and my feelings of weakness for not being able to do it on my own. Then the first song I hear this morning on the radio… I remember hearing this when I was a kid thinking I liked the song, but I never thought it would apply to me.
Hall & Oates – Rich Girl
And don’t you know, don’t you know
That it’s wrong to take what he’s giving you
So far gone on your own
But you can get along if you try to be strong
But you’ll never be strong cause
I think it’s normal to feel bad about your parents helping you out financially…even if they can easily afford it. Being financially independent is important to me, so I would rather take a second job than accept “loans” for things I can’t truly afford.
If you don’t struggle….you don’t get stronger.
Just my 2 cents.
If this was something like a new computer or sewing machine I would agree with you. This is a new life. I’ve been struggling for years and money is a big thing keeping me from leaving here. My father wants me to be happy, that’s all he’s ever wanted and all he can do to help me be happy is to help me in this way. If the economy was different, if we could sell the house quickly, if The Prince had a job, I probably wouldn’t need this help.
sometimes we all need a little help to get on our feet again. Nothing wrong with that and it sounds like they are happy to do it. take it as a blessing… I certainly did when my mom and her husband offered us a gift of money for the wedding. we greatly appreciate the help.
I am slowly coming to terms with this. I know that I have to make some concessions, things like traveling to see friends like I had hoped, will wait until I can afford them without their money also major decisions like where I will live and even buying new furniture, I will talk to them first. I know I will forever be their little girl.
Don’t feel guilty about accepting their help. Why? For all the reasons you already know – they love you, and they can. Plain and simple. I would strongly caution that you continue to NOT tell the prince about the financial assistance they may/will be giving you. That could screw you in the end with any settlement agreement stuff. plus – it’s just none of his d**m business!
I am getting over the initial guilt or feeling like this is a sign of weakness. I have no plans on telling him where I got the money for the lawyer and the apartment, he is smart enough to put two and two together.
There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with accepting help when you need it, especially from the people who love you most. Personally, I did everything I could not to take help from my parents. They never made me feel this way, but I couldn’t help but feel like such a failure to them. And in my mind’s eyes, the “gifts” they had given me – help with my house, my wedding – had just been negated and I imagine they must have been disappointed. I still feel this was my “one chance” at that sort of start and that thanks to Ex, I blew it. So, from here on in, it’s me and all me. And it’s not easy, but it’s OK. Not for everyone, but I guess for me it makes me feel a tad better about everything.
Good luck in your apartment search.
It’s not like I’ve ever been able to say no to them when it comes to their generosity. I do feel like I disappointed them, but at the same time they know the amount of strength it has taken me to get out of a bad situation and want to lessen my burden a little. They can’t take any of the emotional load off of me, so they help financially. I’m sure if I had a child I would do the same for them.