A year ago I said the words that changed my life. A lot has happened in the past year. I discovered inner strength I didn’t know I had. I discovered I could be heartless and selfish when I have to be and that it’s okay to be heartless and selfish sometimes. I discovered that putting myself first is possible. I discovered that some people understood that and others didn’t. I discovered that no matter how much I explain it some people will never understand why I left my marriage and no one else needs to understand it. I did this for me and no one else.
Last week we stood in front of a judge and told her there was no chance of reconciliation. She granted us the divorce.
Last weekend I spent time with good friends who all are in various stages of their divorces. We talk about a little about what happened to our marriages, but mostly we talk about what we want for our lives. Talking with them over the past year gave me the emotional support I needed to see this through. I hope that I am as much support for them as they were for me.
I have discovered different women handle their divorces differently. Some want to forget their marriages altogether, others mourn the loss of what they once had and what could have been, for me I will work on remembering the good parts and learning from the bad parts.
Carole King – It’s Too Late
There’ll be good times again for me and you
But we just can’t stay together
Don’t you feel it too
Still I’m glad for what we had
And how I once loved you
Wow, I could have written this post, except my “year ago” will be in two weeks, Feb. 4th. You are strong and will grow and learn more about what you will and will not accept and yes, it is perfectly OK to be selfish. You will be fine. I know I am more than fine since separating and divorcing the man who, when asked to give up his “friendship” with a woman who’s madly in love with him, told me no. He ended the marriage that day (New Years Day 2009), I just made it official.