Comments for Fairytales End

Comment on One Year Ago… by Trisha

Trisha — Thu, 21 Jan 2010 12:35:34 +0000

Wow, I could have written this post, except my “year ago” will be in two weeks, Feb. 4th. You are strong and will grow and learn more about what you will and will not accept and yes, it is perfectly OK to be selfish. You will be fine. I know I am more than fine since separating and divorcing the man who, when asked to give up his “friendship” with a woman who’s madly in love with him, told me no. He ended the marriage that day (New Years Day 2009), I just made it official.

Comment on Busy Week… by Christine Staley

Christine Staley — Mon, 25 May 2009 04:22:43 +0000

I remember that feeling of giddiness to be moving on. Though I wasn’t the one to move out (although initially I was), I remember that excitement of finally being ready to be over with the relationship on to *my* life.

I’m sorry you’re having to stay where you are for the time being, but the upside is you know you’re emotionally (and financially!)ready when the time comes to go it on your own. congrats!

Thanks! I am so ready to start my life, I feel like I’m in a holding pattern, but an end is in site.

Comment on Always His Princess by Singlegal

Singlegal — Wed, 06 May 2009 12:31:58 +0000

There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with accepting help when you need it, especially from the people who love you most. Personally, I did everything I could not to take help from my parents. They never made me feel this way, but I couldn’t help but feel like such a failure to them. And in my mind’s eyes, the “gifts” they had given me – help with my house, my wedding – had just been negated and I imagine they must have been disappointed. I still feel this was my “one chance” at that sort of start and that thanks to Ex, I blew it. So, from here on in, it’s me and all me. And it’s not easy, but it’s OK. Not for everyone, but I guess for me it makes me feel a tad better about everything.
Good luck in your apartment search.

It’s not like I’ve ever been able to say no to them when it comes to their generosity. I do feel like I disappointed them, but at the same time they know the amount of strength it has taken me to get out of a bad situation and want to lessen my burden a little. They can’t take any of the emotional load off of me, so they help financially. I’m sure if I had a child I would do the same for them.

Comment on Always His Princess by ella

ella — Wed, 06 May 2009 12:22:03 +0000

Don’t feel guilty about accepting their help. Why? For all the reasons you already know – they love you, and they can. Plain and simple. I would strongly caution that you continue to NOT tell the prince about the financial assistance they may/will be giving you. That could screw you in the end with any settlement agreement stuff. plus – it’s just none of his d**m business!

I am getting over the initial guilt or feeling like this is a sign of weakness. I have no plans on telling him where I got the money for the lawyer and the apartment, he is smart enough to put two and two together.

Comment on Always His Princess by mina

mina — Wed, 06 May 2009 00:59:24 +0000

sometimes we all need a little help to get on our feet again. Nothing wrong with that and it sounds like they are happy to do it. take it as a blessing… I certainly did when my mom and her husband offered us a gift of money for the wedding. we greatly appreciate the help.

I am slowly coming to terms with this. I know that I have to make some concessions, things like traveling to see friends like I had hoped, will wait until I can afford them without their money also major decisions like where I will live and even buying new furniture, I will talk to them first. I know I will forever be their little girl.

Comment on Always His Princess by Jan @ Struck by Serendipity

Jan @ Struck by Serendipity — Tue, 05 May 2009 18:31:39 +0000

I think it’s normal to feel bad about your parents helping you out financially…even if they can easily afford it. Being financially independent is important to me, so I would rather take a second job than accept “loans” for things I can’t truly afford.

If you don’t struggle….you don’t get stronger.

Just my 2 cents.

If this was something like a new computer or sewing machine I would agree with you. This is a new life. I’ve been struggling for years and money is a big thing keeping me from leaving here. My father wants me to be happy, that’s all he’s ever wanted and all he can do to help me be happy is to help me in this way. If the economy was different, if we could sell the house quickly, if The Prince had a job, I probably wouldn’t need this help.

Comment on I won’t go, you can’t make me! by Juggle Jane

Juggle Jane — Wed, 29 Apr 2009 16:27:47 +0000

We were #4. I thought we were making progress, he felt ganged-up on. But my ex did what yours did – channeled a whole different person in counseling. Gave answers that he thought she wanted to hear, etc. He had it in his head it wasn’t going to work, so it didn’t.

As for personal therapy, it has helped me tremendously. I would be rocking in a corner, babbling to myself right now if I didn’t have an amazing therapist. It helps to get a different perspective on things from someone who just wants the very best for you.

Good luck, lady! This divorce crap is hard!

Comment on Ghosts from the past by Nicole

Nicole — Wed, 29 Apr 2009 15:09:45 +0000

That’s so crazy!
I can’t believe they ended up living together!

The guy I’m with now was, I guess what you would call, My Greek, back in college.
I never thought it would get to the point where we were in a relationship.
I remember one time we were laying there and he mentioned something about him not looking for a relationship — just fun.
It caught me off guard so much that I caught myself telling him I had no idea what he was talking about — I wasn’t looking for a relationship, before I could even finish thinking it to myself.
4 1/2 years later and we’re together now.
I don’t know how it happened but if I ever heard him say something like that I’d have to kick his ass.
Simple as that.
lol
And I’d get an extra kick in there just for you

Comment on Focusing on What I Want by Nicole

Nicole — Wed, 29 Apr 2009 14:34:59 +0000

You seem very level headed and like you’re making a well thought out decision.
You know what you want and you need time to rediscover who you are and what makes you passionate.

I went from living with a boyfriend to living on my own to living with my parents. That was the hardest transition ever but it helped me to prepare for being on my own permanently.
And it helped me to appreciate being on my own.
Which I did, but didn’t, prior to that.

Good luck with everything! I can’t wait to read more about you

Thank you, I know that there are still some hard times ahead and I didn’t come to these decisions lightly. I’m finding that while part of me is manic and scattered when it comes to focusing on what I want and what I have to do to get there I’m remarkably calm. Let’s hope it stays that way.

Comment on Focusing on What I Want by singlegal

singlegal — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 21:09:15 +0000

Ex moved out about three weeks after the “news” and while I was confounded, I was truly grateful. I had never lived alone and I was a bit scared about the idea of being in the house by myself. And you know what? I LIKED it. I may have even loved it. Being there without the constant need to feel like I was filling a hole – whether it be with noise, or conversation, or WHATEVER – was blissful. It was one of the best things I did. I think you’ll find so too. Good luck!

Thank you, I’ve lived sort of alone before, I shared a house with a few other people, but it’s not exactly the same. It will be an adventure one that might end with me buying an electric jar opener and a new electric drill.