Fairytales End » Future http://fairytalesend.com A princess's journey into life after ever after isn't happy Wed, 20 Jan 2010 04:18:58 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.4 Moving On… http://fairytalesend.com/2009/10/moving-on/ http://fairytalesend.com/2009/10/moving-on/#comments Wed, 21 Oct 2009 01:49:38 +0000 Exprincess http://fairytalesend.com/?p=110 I’m not dead. I haven’t fallen off the face of earth. I haven’t changed my mind. Ok that’s a bit of what I haven’t been doing, now for what I have been doing: I’ve been moving on with my life. I moved into a loft apartment and out of the house I once thought I would grow old in. I took off my rings and haven’t looked at them since putting them in a drawer. I started to do things on my own and facing the world alone. And you know what, it can be a little scary out there but nothing I can’t handle. So far I’ve handled movers, car repair, furniture shopping and the maze known as parking at Logan. And I handled it all on my own. I was covered in bruises during the move but I learned to not pack boxes too heavy. The Service Manager at the car dealership did talk down to me a bit but I let it go in one ear and out the other. It is very easy to buy more than you pick up at Ikea, always check box weights and sizes and know your’s and your car’s limits. Logan’s Economy Lot 2 is right next to Terminal E, much easier to get to the other terminals than from the regular Economy Lot. For some reason Logan wants you to park in the boondocks instead.

I know I have real life lessons to learn. I know I have more fears to face. I know I will be scared at times but I have the inner strength to survive. And when I think I don’t, there is a voice that tells me I do.

Today I got the phone call from the lawyer. In 31 days we have a court date. I knew it was coming, I thought it would just be a sit down with the judge to discuss the agreement. My lawyer told me “If we have an agreement walking in, I will get you your divorce”. In 15 days we meet in my lawyer’s office. Me, My Lawyer, The Prince’s Lawyer and The Prince. I haven’t seen him since I moved out 3 months ago. Seeing his face scares me more than anything. The last time I saw him he looked at me with such a cold stare. I need to prepare myself to see that again. I need to prepare myself for the worse and hope for the best. Until then, I will keep moving on with life.

This fairytale is coming to an end. Now to see what happens when an Ex-Princess has to fend for herself. All I can say is I really miss my maids.

]]> http://fairytalesend.com/2009/10/moving-on/feed/ 0 Focusing on What I Want http://fairytalesend.com/2009/04/focusing-on-what-i-want/ http://fairytalesend.com/2009/04/focusing-on-what-i-want/#comments Tue, 28 Apr 2009 19:56:50 +0000 Exprincess http://fairytalesend.wordpress.com/?p=67 This week I need to focus on what I want.  It will help because at the end of this week I will finally be telling my parents what’s going on.  I will also be making appointments to look at some apartments. Job or no job, down economy or not, I need to move on, I know this.  So I need to remember what it is that I want out of being on my own.

I want to be on my own.  I want to live without justifying everything I do to someone else.  I want to not have to tell someone what I’m doing every second of every day.  I want to enjoy the silence of being home alone.  I want to focus on making me a better me.  I want to focus on my passions without the guilt that I’m ignoring someone else.  I want to travel and see friends.  I want to go to sleep without feeling emotional tension.  I want to smile more.  I want to remember who I am.  I want people to notice something is different with me but they can’t figure out what.  I want to spend the summer decorating a new apartment for me.  I want to love the woman in the mirror again.  I want to thank my friends who have been reassuring me that there is life after divorce.  I want to find the strength to be on my own.  I want to be happy.

There is more that I want but there are some noticeable items not on that list.  I don’t want to start dating again, not for some time.  I need to be on my own for sometime before I am willing to let anyone else into my life.  I don’t want to fall in love again.  At least not for awhile, I might be being cautious, but I need time before I can go there again.  I do not want to rely on someone else to help me define myself.  I need to know who I am  I don’t want to get remarried.  This might change but in all honesty, I don’t see the point.  I did it once and it didn’t work out.  Something about learning from your mistakes and those who don’t learn from history are bound to repeat it.  I’m not saying I won’t, who knows I might meet that right person who I can’t live without, but right now I can’t live without me and I’ve been doing that for too long.

I have a lot to do in the next few weeks, I will keep my focus and remember what I want.  I will get there.

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